Just like McCain, but better!

The Clinton campaign has struck upon a brilliant plan over the last week or so: jump on the bandwagon of the Republican opposition, but add a new tax!

John McCain has been tromping through the United States on the "Please Somebody Pay Attention To Me Tour" for the last several weeks. The former champion of common sense has now toed the GOP line (the one labeled "promise to cut every tax there is, regardless of whether you have any way to pay for it"). His latest plan: shave just under 20 cents off of the price of a gallon of gasoline, which will make it oh-so-affordable. He says it's just for the summer, but we've heard how this song ends. Purportedly, this will save everyday folks lots of money and certainly won't increase how much people are driving (thus increasing demand, thus increasing price). Economic experts denounce it as a gimmick, and NY Mayer Michael Bloomberg calls it “about the dumbest thing I’ve heard in an awful long time...." (see FOX News).

So what's a Democrat to do? Well, if you're HRC, you sign on but make it even better. Hillary wants to do just like John, but tax Big Oil an equal amount instead. That's a great idea, because they'll never figure out that they can just pass the cost of the tax on to the customer. So with the new-and-improved Clinton Plan, we get the same upward price pressures from increased demand, but we give the petroleum industry incentive to raise the price, too. Brilliant! As we've seen while crude oil costs soared and Big Oil made record profits, Exxon executives will probably be bamboozled by this clever new Clinton ploy. Hey, is there still time for me to move to Indiana to vote for her?

And I can't wait for the GOP campagin ads in November if Clinton is the Dem nominee: "I stood against earmarks for years. This year, my opponent said 'Good idea. Me too!' I advocated the gas tax break, and my opponent said 'Good idea. Me too! But that'd be even better with a new tax.' During her primary race, my opponent said that I am qualified to be commander-in-chief, and that I understand the dangerous world we live in. Thanks for the help, Hillary. You've been very supportive of my administration's future direction. Maybe you'd like a job in my administration. I'm seriously laughing myself silly, and I approve this message."